He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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