No awkward lesbian experiences without me
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bring money and cleavage
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
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