After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come see our sink grown plant.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize