Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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