Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
my shit smells like andre
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
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