Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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