my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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