I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize