check it out our google latitudes are spooning
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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