Acid is not a monday night drug
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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