you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize