I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Randomize