She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize