hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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