I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
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And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
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I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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