just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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