Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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