Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
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You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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