The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize