she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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