At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize