I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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