In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
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is this the sara with the beer cane?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
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Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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