8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
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I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
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Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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