I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
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I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
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I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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