I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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