and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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