It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize