She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
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i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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