First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize