I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
birth control should be required to get into college
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize