I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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