I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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