Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize