I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize