I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
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