Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize