my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize