I can tuck mytits in my pants
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
