Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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