ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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