Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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