You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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