Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize