So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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