I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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