trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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