She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
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She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
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Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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