Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
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But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
So much Jack, so little girl.
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I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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