Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Randomize