you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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